


These arms were made for holding you

by gayumbrella



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/F, Femslash, Friends to Lovers, Genderswap, Girl Direction, Lesbian Sex, Light self-hatred, Oral Sex, Vaginal Fingering, but it ends in a nice way, girl!Liam - Freeform, girl!Zayn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-10-21 18:07:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20697773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayumbrella/pseuds/gayumbrella
Summary: Liam has only ever slept with girls she means nothing to. That changes when Zayn comes over to paint her portrait.





	These arms were made for holding you

Liam is sitting on the couch and watching TV. She’s eating chips, even though it’s only early afternoon, but she was tired and angry at herself for being so stupid in class this morning. It’s the start of the new semester and everywhere are new people she is supposed to make friends with and enjoy the fun of youth or something like that. But she is not good with people and she is really not good with people her age, she never knows what’s right to say and then she gets self-conscious and knows even less. She’s just stupid. And that’s the reason she’s sitting here eating chips, watching TV just the way all stupid people do.

At least no one sees her here. Except for the crowd in her head that is always watching, scolding and nagging her, but most of the time she knows that that’s not real (not that it hurts less). The chips are really good, just the grease stains they leave on her fingers bother her. Liam hates it when her fingers get dirty, it feels like too big a reminder of how disgusting she sometimes feels just on her own. Then she’s just too much, in every way, and she wishes there would just exist less of her.

The hot woman in these tight clothes strutting around on the TV isn’t helping her case. Liam has never been able to not look and not imagine. And this woman is really her type, sharp features, but the softest eyes and velvet long black hair making Liam ache to get her fingers on her. 

Until now she has only ever hooked up with cool-eyed girls, the kind she has been afraid of since elementary school. The first time was at some party not long into her first year of uni. Everyone was a bit anxious and unsure of how to act but nonetheless willing to party and make the most of their newly found freedom. There Liam stood against a wall, not knowing what to do with herself and kind of wishing herself back into her old room at home, when out of thin air a blond girl fell against her. Liam caught her and made sure she was alright, but the girl didn’t seem to care. Her hands slipped into Liam’s hoodie before Liam could even protest, and suddenly her face was so close to Liam’s that she jerked back at her breath filled with alcohol.

But Liam had dreamed of kissing a girl for ages and she wasn’t about to ruin her impossible dream. So when the girl fixated her with glossed over, but somehow still calculating eyes, she didn’t back off and let her kiss her. It was wet all over her mouth and then in her mouth, after Liam had realized that she was required to open it. “Come with me”, were the words that started Liam’s first time. She followed blindly, telling herself she was too drunk on her one beer to really care. They ended up in a bedroom and in hindsight Liam tells herself that she was lucky it wasn’t some bathroom or the wardrobe.

She didn’t find the courage to talk or at least ask if the girl had done something like this before, but just judging by her avoidance of any eye contact with Liam she hadn’t ever done this with a woman. Liam just stayed there, pressed against the door trying to reciprocate the sloppy kisses and not lose track of where the girl’s sharp fingers went. The first time a girl ever touched her boobs and the first time a girl ever opened her belt happened in a haze of fingers and limbs handicapped by alcohol, long pent-up longing and disappointed expectations.

The next morning she woke up in her bed that she had stumbled home to afterwards and looked at her discarded hoodie on the floor where she had left it. She's never worn it again, but after the next time and the time after that that she has had sex with drunk girls who don’t give a shit about her, she has kept her hoodies and flannels. Throwing them out is too expensive, Liam is a very rational girl.

She suddenly hears a bang from the door and then wild knocking. Slowly she puts the bag with chips down and cleans her fingers with the wet tissues she always has ready when eating something and walks to the door. After shortly checking if she’s decent, Liam opens the door and is greeted with the sight of Zayn who is struggling to hold up a cartoon box. “Oh my god, come in”, Liam says and steps out of Zayn’s way. “What are you doing here with whatever that is in your box?”, she asks. From inside the living room Zayn calls out: “I’m here to do your fucking portrait for that stupid class, don’t you remember?” She sounds slightly pissed and Liam grins to herself. She is so cute when she can’t keep in her anger and gets bratty. 

“Oh, I remember”, Liam answers, “please tell me again why you had to paint me and couldn’t just choose, say, anyone else?” She has been friends with Zayn since nearly their first day of uni. They met on a freshmen tour around campus and somehow they just clicked. Exasperated Zayn rolls her eyes: “I’ve already told you, there is no one I would be comfortable enough around to actually paint something that doesn’t look like shit.” “Okay okay, I won’t question you anymore”, Liam holds her hands up in surrender. “When do you want to start? And where?”

“Well, I thought right here on your couch, right? It’s comfortable for you and I have decent lighting. And if you don’t have any other business to attend to then I’d say let’s start right now. I’ll be set up in a minute”, Zayn tells her. “Sure, why not?”, Liam says, hiding the slight panic that has crept up her stomach as she remembers that her chips are still lying there under some pillow. She needs to hide them before Zayn can see them. She doesn’t even want to think about what Zayn might think of her if she sees this proof of Liam’s true horrendous self.

Hoping that Zayn is too preoccupied with arranging her materials, she tries to casually find the bag and get it out of the living room. Finally her hand meets plastic and she picks it up. “What do you have there?”, Zayn asks not looking up from her box of utensils. And Liam’s breath stops, her brain desperately scrambles to find a suitable lie. Zayn looks up frowning at Liam’s silence and then breaks into a huge smile: “Ohhh, chips! Keep them for afterwards, I’ll need food when I’m done with the portrait.” And Liam is so relieved, she only mumbles a weak “sure” and sinks onto the couch.

“Okay, all done!”, Zayn smiles, “if you could sit up a bit straighter so that I can have a better look on your face, but choose a pose you can sit in for about an hour.” Liam straightens her back out and turns her face to Zayn looking straight at her. It is kind of too much, but she doesn’t want to let Zayn down. So she stares just straight ahead as the self-doubt comes and the crowd in her head starts to chant insults. She doesn’t think that Zayn is doing herself a favour by choosing Liam as her model. Art is supposed to be exciting or aesthetically pleasing and Liam is neither of that with her straight features, her straight brown hair pulled back into a low ponytail and her black hoodie.

But Zayn doesn’t seem to care, she just paints away. And slowly Liam starts to think less and relax more. She trustsZayn and if Zayn thinks that this is a good idea, then it probably is and Liam shouldn’t question it. Minutes go by, then half an hour and finally the hour Zayn said it would take seems to come to an end. Zayn slowly emerges from her trance, that she always falls into when she paints or draws. She seems to put a few finishing touches and strokes here and there and then steps back: “You can move again”. She smiles: “Thank you for doing this, I know it’s not easy sitting still for so long and have someone staring at you” Liam shakes her arms and her head trying to get rid of the numbness that has settled there: “Anything for you, you know that.”

“Still”, Zayn says looking at Liam, “you didn’t have to do that and I really appreciate it.” “For you it’s even worth it being confronted with the full frontal of my self-hatred for an entire hour”, Liam jokes, but Zayn doesn’t laugh. Instead she steps closer to Liam and looks at her earnestly: “You know, I know you feel that way, but I wish I could take it all away from you.” Liam is dumbfounded by her honesty, she doesn’t know what to say. But Zayn does: “Come look at your portrait.” She takes Liam’s hand and leads her to the canvas.

“What do you think?”, she asks. And Liam can only stare. The colours and the shapes, it’s all her and she has expected that – it’s Zayn, of course it would be good – but she hasn’t expected to see echoed back at her what she feels when she looks at Zayn. All over the canvas, in the colours, between the strokes, there it is. Love. Liam feel it so clearly whenever she sees Zayn out of the corner of her eye or when she heard her talk with their friends and always when they sit together just enjoying their company and now she can see it right before her eyes. It is so obvious, everything the hot fiery ball in her stomach and the butterflies flying wild in her head long for.

Liam tears her gaze away from Zayn’s masterpiece and turns to her: “It’s beautiful. You’re so good.” She can’t really say more, but she looks at Zayn and she doesn’t look away and she knows it must be written all over her face. She had to turn away so often, because she feared Zayn would read it directly in her eyes, but now she lets all the feelings she has harboured for too long pour into her gaze. Zayn’s voice is cracked: “Really? I really tried to show you how I see you. Do you think you get it?” And now coded language isn’t enough anymore for Liam: “I think so. But you have to tell me directly.” Zayn swallows. Then takes a step closer to Liam. And another step and then she stands so close to her that Liam can smell the oranges she always eats in her breath.

“Liam”, Zayn says, “you have been the best friend I have ever had. There is no one I trust more than you. And you are the person I always look forward to seeing most, you sweeten every day, you make me happier whenever you are around. With you I feel more like myself and without you I feel like I’m missing something. I care so much about you, you know that, and I think you know now that I have fallen in love with you. I hope this is direct enough for you, Liam, I love you.” 

With every word Liam feels herself being pulled forward more and more, everything in her screams for Zayn. But she can’t rush this, so she lifts her hands slowly looking for Zayn’s okay. She touches her cheek and moves her other hand to her neck and Zayn shudders against her skin. “I love you, too. I think I have loved you for so long now I can’t remember what it’s like without you. You mean the world to me”, Liam tells Zayn. Looking into each others eyes both lean forward and only let their eyes flutter shut when their lips touch for the very first time. So soft like a prayer, soul to soul like it’s reserved for believers and their gods, Liam’s heart is ascending right into Zayn’s hands, which have found their way into Liam’s hair, messing up her ponytail. 

Liam opens her mouth and licks along Zayn’s smooth lips, which open sighing for Liam. She licks up Zayn’s shuddering breaths and finds company with her tongue, two lovers greeting each other. She caresses Zayn’s cheek with her thumb and moves even closer, they are chest against chest, hip against hip, thighs leaning on each other. Liam wants to feel every inch of her body, she needs to or she might just die right here on the spot. She pulls back just a little, taking in breath that she has been holding, but Zayn chases her and presses their lips to each other again. And this time the softness is gone. Gentleness still is fabric their touches are made of, but it feels so much more urgent.

Zayn kisses Liam hard, again and again like she tries to drink up everything there is of Liam. And Liam pulls back again: “Couch?”, is everything she gets out, but it’s enough. Zayn grabs her hand and stumbles the few steps back to the couch where she lets herself fall down on her back pulling Liam with her. And so Liam finds herself on top of Zayn and for a second she thinks she might pass out. But this is too important. She gives in to Zayn’s searching hands rubbing up and down her back, pulling her down by her neck. She kisses her on the corner of her mouth, drowning her in butterfly kisses all over her face and then finds her way back home to Zayn’s mouth. And Zayn takes her in, she captures Liam’s upper lip between hers and lets her rest in the intensity of their closeness for a bit until she starts to kiss Liam with even more emphasis.

They are making out and it feels so natural to Liam, who an hour ago would have had to clench her eyes shut with disgust for herself at the thought of her compromising someone as beautiful as Zayn with her dirty hands. But now every thought of that seems to be a conceit out of a long gone past. The melody of Zayn’s body moving against hers drowns out all of the insults in her head. 

Their kisses have become more and more heated until they threaten to explode from the heat, Liam’s leg has found its way between Zayn’s thighs, she is thankful for every part of Zayn’s body that she gets to touch. Liam moves a bit to get more comfortable and Zayn moans loudly into her mouth. It’s the best sound Liam’s ever heard and she wants to hear it again. Carefully she starts grinding her leg against the part between Zayn’s legs where it’s hottest. With another moan Zayn struggles away a bit from Liam and opens her eyes: “What are you doing?” Liam hovers over her, supporting herself with her arms next to Zayn’s head and answers her: “I just want to make you feel good. Are you okay with that?” “So okay”, Zayn smiles lightly, “then take off your hoodie, yes?”

So Liam sits up and starts to get out of her hoodie, keeping eye contact with Zayn as long as possible, but when she sees again, Zayn’s eyes aren’t on her face anymore. They are trailing all over her upper body, her strong shoulders and arms, her puffed out stomach with the tiny happy trail and her boobs constricted in her sports bra. “That too”, Zayn says with her eyes fixed on the bra. Liam grins and pulls it over her head leaving Zayn with the sight of her bare tits. Like in a trance Zayn reaches up and holds them in her palms and now it’s Liam’s turn to moan loudly. But she wants to see Zayn, too: “Now you, please.”

Zayn wiggles out of her top and unclasps the bralette she is wearing, leaving her equally bare. Liam takes it all in, Zayn looks amazing and she doesn’t think that she’ll ever see enough of Zayn’s tiny tits and her delicate shoulders and her dark happy trail leading to where Liam wants to go so badly. “Well, come on now”, Zayn says and Liam complies. She dives into Zayn and her awaiting arms, laying with her skin to skin and every cell in her body seems to be woken up. It’s a bit cold and she feels it on her back, but Zayn beneath her is enough to make her want to strip down even more. They hold each other and they kiss and Liam’s leg finds its way back between Zayn’s. They are moving together, grinding with the rhythm of their kisses and trade moans. Finally, Liam can’t take it anymore and asks: “pants?” Zayn’s nod is enough for her to hop of the couch and jump out of her trousers leaving Zayn laying on the couch to do the same. 

With their pants kicked away Liam gets back to Zayn and lays down on top of her. She can feel Zayn’s wetness against her thigh and she is sure that Zayn can feel hers. Liam can feel her everywhere, it’s intoxicating and she needs more. They are kissing feverishly and grinding into each other without any barrier between them. Liam starts to move down, she kisses along Zayn’s jaw line and her neck, making her shudder with every breath. She kisses down her throat and along her collar bones and down to her small tips. She circles her nipples with more kisses making them flush shades darker. She starts sucking on Zayn’s left slightly bigger tit and it feels like she was born to do that, it’s so good. She could stay here forever with her mouth closed around Zayn’s nipple drawing the prettiest moans from her.

But there is something she wants to get her mouth on even more. Slowly she lets Zayn’s nipple pop out of her mouth and continues her journey downwards. She reaches Zayn’s soft stomach and can’t help but lick a strip down to her belly button. But she is interrupted by Zayn’s hand on top of her head: “What do you think you’re doing?” Startled Liam looks up to her: “Don’t you want that? I’m so sorry, I should have asked! Are you okay? Do you want me to go away?” Liam is so scared suddenly, her worst fears that she is too much and not enough for Zayn at the same time seem to be true. But Zayn just laughs: “No, Liam, I just want to get you first!” And all the fear falls away from Liam once again. With Zayn she is safe.

“Well, I guess you have to battle me for it, I want the same thing. And as you can see, I’m pretty near to getting it”, Liam teases and surges down to press a kiss on Zayn’s pubic mound, causing her to draw in a sharp breath. “Sure that you don’t want me to do you now?”, Liam smirks. “Yes, I’m sure”, Zayn answers and with strength no one would have expected from her delicate frame she pulls away from under Liam and flips her over. Maybe it has something to do with Liam discovering that she loves Zayn trying to manhandle her and her not putting much of a fight. So now Liam finds herself laying underneath Zayn and again being robbed of her breath by how beautiful Zayn is.

But she doesn’t have long to marvel at her, because now Zayn is going on a journey of her own. She sucks underneath Liam’s ear until it hurts, but Liam wants more, she wants Zayn to eat her alive. Zayn continues sucking hickeys onto Liam’s throat and down to her tits. She grabs one with her hand and begins licking the puffy pink nipple. And it’s all too much for Liam, she doesn’t have enough room in her body for the pleasure Zayn is evoking in her. Zayn bites her lightly and Liam hisses, it’s so good. Zayn moves to her other tit, but keeps caressing the other one with her tattooed hand and Liam thinks that this might be Zayn’s true masterpiece. 

With one last bite Zayn lets go of Liam’s nipple and starts planting wet kisses down her stomach. She moves to her happy trail and nuzzles her nose into Liam’s soft skin underneath it. She looks up to Liam with so much love in her eyes that Liam thinks she is ascending into heaven, because things like this can’t exist on earth. But Zayn’s tongue licking down through her pubic hair pulls her back down to earth. And when Zayn licks a strip down her slit she can’t help but grind into her. Zayn pushes her thighs apart with her hands and holds them in place as she starts to eat Liam out for real. She teases her entrance and then pushes her tongue in. 

Liam has never felt so good before, Zayn’s velvet tongue inside her feels so intimate. She’s exploring depths of Liam in a way no one else can and Liam knows she’s getting even wetter with Zayn’s tongue right there in the centre of her. She is pushing in and out and Liam wants to do nothing else but ride her tongue for the rest of time. But then Zayn pulls out and works her way up to her clit and Liam forgets everything she has thought before. There is only Zayn’s tongue circling and sucking her. Liam claws her hands in Zayn’s long hair flowing over her shoulders and over Liam’s thighs. She needs to hold on to Zayn and when Zayn starts licking just in the right spot and Liam inches closer and closer to the edge until she falls over it, she pulls Zayn into her digging her fingers in her scalp. 

After the last wave of pleasure has washed over her, she can finally release Zayn and let her get up from between her thighs. She climbs back on top of Liam and holds herself over her. “Good?”, she asks and Liam can’t do more than nod and pull her in for a messy kiss. She tastes herself on Zayn’s tongue and it’s the best thing ever. She loves Zayn so much and tasting herself in Zayn’s mouth is like another confession of love. Which she desperately wants to return. She collects all the strength she has left and tells Zayn: “Now me.”

Zayn grins and kisses her again. “Then get to it”, she teases and slides next to Liam so she can get up. “Oh, I’m getting to it, just wait”, Liam says and moves down between Zayn’s thighs. She sits down and looks at Zayn, who has laid back and pulled her arms behind her head. Then she drives her index finger through Zayn’s slit and back up to rub her clit over her lips. And with that Zayn’s teasing grin vanishes and she looks at Liam silently pleading for more. Liam drags her finger through her wetness to her entrance and slowly begins pushing in. She lets her finger rest there for a bit and only continues to push in when Zayn moans impatiently. She starts fingering her, pulling in and out, then adding a second finger when Zayn whines for more.

With two fingers in Zayn Liam is overwhelmed. She feels so good around her fingers and she is proof that she can do good, the best, things with her hands. Liam finds her g-spot and starts rubbing it, making Zayn cry out even louder. And then she pulls out leaving Zayn bucking her hips for more. But not for long, because now she is laying down between Zayn’s legs and instead of using her fingers she licks up to Zayn’s clit. She licks it up and down and presses her tongue hard against it, tasting everything of Zayn. She could stay here forever with her head between her thighs and her tongue on her. Liam sucks on her clit, then licks over it again and again. She can hear Zayn’s moans going higher and she can feel her clit starting to pulse, so she holds her quivering thighs down and licks over it hard, then presses her tongue to it massaging Zayn’s clit in small circles until she comes with a moan and closing thighs around Liam’s head. Liam is nearly suffocating, but she loves it. She’s enclosed by Zayn, her smell, her taste, her skin and she never wants to come out again.

But then Zayn opens her thighs again and blinks down at Liam: “Are you okay? Come up, I want to cuddle.” And Liam nods and complies, getting up and crawling to Zayn. She lies down next to her on the tiny couch that she just had sex on with the girl she has loved for so long. Zayn turns towards her and wraps her arms around Liam who pull her in even closer. They stay there with their eyes entangled and only open their eyes to look at each other and exchange tired “I love you”s. And that were the words that concluded Liam’s first time with Zayn.


End file.
